The Doula. The Mother. And The Partner 

Couples may worry that the partner will be pushed out, that the doula will assume that she can do the job better and will relegate the partner to a minor role. On the other hand, some women worry that their partners will not be able to help very much, but are hesitant to suggest a doula for fear of hurting the partner’s feelings. And some partners want help, but they feel insecure about their ability to meet all the woman’s needs. 

Besides the partner, doulas may be the only other constant during the laboring experience. The nurse, doctor, and midwife have other responsibilities that compete with the emotional care of the woman (i.e. breaks, shift changes, clinical responsibilities, hospital/birth center policies). My priority and responsibility is YOU. While I may begin as a stranger to expecting parents, I can quickly become a stable support to both you and your partner. 

Having a doula can bring couples together by making sure the partner’s needs are met and allowing him to participate at their comfort level. The partner may not know how they want to be involved in the birthing process and are encouraged to follow their intuition and desire to be involved in a way that feels most supportive to themselves, and to the mother. For the partner that is shy, uncertain, or unversed in his role I may suggest simple but truly useful tasks such as timing the contractions, holding the woman and supporting her in a particular position, or massaging her. While I may know more about the birth process, birth center, or hospital - the partner knows more about the woman’s personality including her likes and dislikes, and needs. The combined contributions of partner and doula, and medical personnel, give the woman the best chance of optimal outcome.